Free investment advice!

Here's a little retirement investment information:

If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49.00 left.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1, 000.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg.